


Clean slate

by RoughTweedAction (Donya)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: A reasonable amount of angst, Angst, Gen, Post-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 04:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12101136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/RoughTweedAction
Summary: Months after the Sherrinford situation, Sherlock suspects that John is avoiding him again.





	Clean slate

He told himself he was being silly the whole way to John's place. John couldn't be possibly avoiding him again, Sherlock didn't give him a sufficient reason for that. Busy schedules, John's new responsibilities as a single father, that was all. Nothing to worry about, they could survive a couple of days apart. Even if Sherlock's flat felt painfully empty. He understood, of course, that John didn't want to move back in with him. Rosie didn't need another stressful change in her life.

John was surprised to see him. He didn't make a move to open the door wider and let Sherlock in. Too late. Sherlock caught a glimpse of bare walls, boxes, rolls of bubble wrap. A wave of joy rushed through him, a relief so strong his knees almost buckled. John was coming back to Baker Street. Finally realised it'd be much simpler for everyone. Sherlock wanted the old routine, the comforting presence of his friend, the satisfaction that he, the freak, was not unlikeable after all.

John looked at him, stern all of a sudden. He sighed heavily. 'I didn't want you to find out this way.'

A cold shiver run down Sherlock's spine and he felt a weight in his chest. He misinterpreted the situation. John wasn't moving in with him. He was moving out. Out of London, at least.

'The America?' He asked, hating his unsteady voice.

'New Zealand, actually.'

As far away as possible, too far away to visit him. That was probably what John had in mind when he was choosing the destination.

Sherlock didn't want to beg him to stay or burst into tears and say he had already lost one best friend. He also didn't want to test his self-control in such a moment and remained silent. He could easily imagine his future: alone, abandoned, afraid to open up to anybody. The only two people in his life would be Lestrade and Mycroft, neither as important to him as John. 

John sighed again, this time almost sympathetically. 'Look, the past few months... I need to get away from this place, too many memories. I don't think I can stop living in the past here, everything and everyone remind me of... Rosie will be safer in Wellington. Whoever may want to take revenge on her for her mother's deeds might not want to travel that far.'

He didn't need to mention other reasons: Sherlock, Eurus, Mycroft, the types Sherlock attracted, villains who had a tendency of targeting John. That was not the suitable environment for a little girl. Rosie's problems were supposed to be trivial at her age, she shouldn't wonder if her daddy would come home from another adventure.

'You'll be fine,' John sounded so sure. Maybe he wasn't just disillusioned, maybe he thought Sherlock didn't need him at all. All that talk about Sherlock's alleged obsession with Moriarty... Perhaps John didn't plan to compete with a ghost.

Sherlock gave a nod, he had to convince himself that John was right. They were not good for each other, they hurt each other and it was best to keep the distance. The less contact, the better. He was already responsible for the death of Rosie's mother, he wouldn't forgive himself if his reckless actions caused the death of Rosie's daddy.

'Yes, um. Do you need a hand with packing?'

'Not really.'

 

He walked back home, his feet had never been heavier. Against reason, he recalled a memory. The night when Eurus began calling Redbeard 'drowned Redbeard' and Mycroft explained to him what it meant. 'He's not coming back,' Mycroft said firmly, his hands on Sherlock's shoulders to keep him in place. 'You have to accept that, Sherlock.'

**Author's Note:**

> RoughTweedAction had a rough day.


End file.
